04.11.09
Shivering Their Timbers
What the hell was Hillary Rodham Clinton laughing about the other day when responding to the all-important “scourge of piracy” question? Was she startled by deja vu, tripping over some memory of herself presenting a book report on the Barbary pirates to her 7th grade history class? Because channelling that shit is what’s required of a Secretary of State when she has absolutely nothing to say about pirates.
I mean —pirates?! WTF?! I hear that even the none-too-swiftboater John Kerry is now calling for Congressional hearings on piracy. Is that a joke? No, it’s not.
I don’t know how the pirate problem came to be, but it seems to be a fast favorite with the ridiculous shithooks who choose what stories Americans will be seeing on their TVs. It’s like a baby crisis with training wheels that Obama can get into and show what a suave goddamned guy he is. He’ll grab them Somali terrorists pirates up and give them a stern talking to, I’m sure. Don’t they know that he’s their President, too, and that we’re very sorry about them hating us and how about a bailout, fellas? Is this way easier than the other ways to redistribute the wealth? Maybe, uh, we can work out some deal, y’know…Maybe steer some of that action ACORN’s way?
Community organizing on the high seas, me hearties! The pirates —they’re in love!
